Forests in Maine abound in Revelations
by if-llamas-could-fly
Summary: That hug in the forest was the result of a lot more than relief. It was also an apology.


**A/N So, here's what happened. I watched Taxi Driver, ****_again_****, and decided that the episode had potential for some resolving of issues. Now, most purgatory-fix-its happen to revolve around Sam having some ****_other_**** reason for abandoning Dean. I'm not saying that that's impossible, because it is, but I decided to go with the idea the writers gave us, and run with that. Also, this entire thing, is ****_completely possible_**** within the canon, because I put it together that way. Not an AU. I like this, I'm posting this, and I'm hoping that you'll like it too. Enjoy! :)** _~Sammy_

* * *

He was pacing, fretting, fuming, self-destructing, hating.

_God damn it all._

He growled in a way that could only be learnt when one spent a long time in a feral world. He slammed his fists into the trunk of an ancient tree and let loose a long stream of curses. His green eyes were a strange mix of worry, anger, and accusation. His lips curled into a sneer even as a tear glistened on his cheek. He was compared and contrasted half a dozen times, and then a couple times more.

His cell phone was dangling loosely from his fingers, completely useless in this instance. He resisted the urge to just keep calling the number he had memorized immediately. Because what good would it do? The subject of his worry and rage literally could not answer. Cell-phones didn't work where he was. No cell-signal in Purgatory.

Bow-legs wore a short path into the dirt of the Maine forest. Twigs snapped, leaves were crushed, profanities drifted through the air.

Twenty four hours and counting.

Twenty four hours of waiting.

Twenty four hours of not knowing if he was going to see him again.

Twenty four hours of slowly building up his wrath.

_Damn it Sammy you should have just let me come with you. Damn it, what am I supposed to do, just wait here? Well screw you, I got you help Sammy and why aren't you here yet? c'mon kiddo I can't take this anymore. I need you here buddy._

Silence answered him.

_C'mon Sam. Oh God, what if something happened to him? He wasn't doing too well, what if he had another coughing fit and I'm not there to comfort him? Oh God no, c'mon Sam, come on little brother. Please don't let him be hurt. Please. He's in __**purgatory**_**. **_Oh God._

The winds shifted, and so did the direction of his thoughts.

_So he's in purgatory. Big whoop. I was there for a year. Sammy's a big boy, he can handle himself. (But he's hurt!) So what? I was hurt too; he didn't even bother to look for me did he? (I never wanted Sam to know what Purgatory was like. He shouldn't even have to know.) Doesn't matter, It's just basic justice. I went to hell, he did too. I went to purgatory, why should he miss out on that experience? He __**deserves**__ it._

"Dean Winchester what on _earth _are you doing?"

Dean spun around, gun drawn, and faltered. "Mom?"

"If I'd known that _this_ is what you were going to do to your brother, I might have renounced that title."

Dean gaped at the blonde woman standing in front of him, her arms crossed, disapproval shining in her blue eyes. She was exactly as he remembered her. And he hated it.

His arm swung up again, and he pulled the trigger without hesitation. The iron rounds blessed with holy water simply passed through the apparition, burying themselves into the trunk of a tree behind her. The thing that looked like Mary simply frowned more, a crease forming between her brows.

_Okay then_. Not a spirit. Definitely wasn't a demon or a shifter, because those fuglies were corporeal.

"What are you?"

The _thing_ just stared at Dean for a few moments before shaking its head. "I'm your mother."

Rage boiled up within him, and he snarled. "Don't lie to me!"

Blue eyes flashed with irritation. "I'm not lying. I _am_ your mother."

"Bullshit."

"Watch your mouth young man."

The expression on the blonde haired creature's face was so familiar, the words so exactly how he remembered them, that it brought the hunter up short.

"...mom?"

Mary gave him a look that clearly said _duh_.

_Great._ If this wasn't a monster, then there was only one other conclusion. He was hallucinating. _Damn it, Sammy is supposed to be the crazy one, not me._

"Dean, you have another thought like that about your brother, and you will regret it."

Dean arranged his features so he looked appropriately abashed but couldn't control the flow of his thoughts.

_Of __**course**__ she's worried about Sam. Everybody's always worried about Sam. And why not? Who would bother to give a shit about me? I'm just a grunt, right? (No, Sammy said I'm more than that. Sammy worries about me.) Yeah right. If Sam cared, he wouldn't have left me to rot in Purgatory. _

"Dean!"

He jumped a bit, and looked up to see Mary glaring at him, eyes no longer simply disapproving, but now brimming with fury.

"How _dare_ you think that about your little brother? What is _wrong_ with you?"

Mary took a step towards Dean, and the hunter backed away, fearing the wrath of the furious woman in front of him.

"Did you even _ask_ Sam why he didn't look for you? Did you bother to get off your self righteous high, and spare a glance out of your little pity-party to look at your brother? Or did you just go ahead and assume that he doesn't care about you?"

Dean scowled. "He _doesn't_ care. If he did-"

"If he did, he would have looked for you? Is that what you're trying to say? Did John _raise_ you to be oblivious, or are you just being stubbornly blind? Can't you _see_ how much you mean to your brother Dean?"

The blood and the fight drained from Dean's face. "What d'you mean?"

"I _mean_ that your brother can't live without you."

"He did it just fine for a year."

"You call that living? Dean, he was barely functioning, he was just this hollow shell of the man you know. He has _never_ been able to live without you. _That's _what you're blind to. You think that you're the only one to love their brother too much to survive without them, but you don't realize that Sam feels the same."

"W-what?"

Mary sighed and ran her fingers though her golden curls. " You remember that time you two went on a Rawhead hunt and you got yourself electrocuted? Sam ran himself into the ground so that he could find a way to save you.

"Then when you got into that accident, what, did you think that Sam had somehow managed to escape unharmed? He was seriously hurt, but Sam checked himself out AMA anyway, so that he could look after you and your father, to make sure you didn't die.

"And then you make that deal, and Sam finds out that you're on a one way trip to hell in a year. He _knew_ that he could die if he went too far with his plan to get you out of the deal, but he didn't care. All he could think about was saving you, even when you kept pushing him away.

"You still haven't gotten over the fact that Sam got together with that demon, but it's not completely his fault Dean. For an entire year, you just kept telling him that, when you died, he had to keep fighting. What was he supposed to do? He didn't know what to do with himself, with you gone. He got into some very bad things, but to him, he was doing just what you told him to. Keep fighting.

"When you went to Purgatory, Dean, he didn't know what to do next. He was _completely alone_. Nobody was there to help him. So he just did what _you_ told him to do. He moved on and settled down. Had a normal life. Just what you promised each other. He didn't know what else to do. All he knew was that he promised, and he didn't want to break his promise.

"Sam took on the trials, because he didn't want to lose you to them. He didn't want to have to face being alone again. He doesn't want to lose you.

"Sam can't exist without you, Dean. He doesn't know _how_. He's always had you at his back, keeping him going. He doesn't deal well with you being gone. He just does the last thing that you told him to, and hopes that it works."

Mary watched on in sympathy as Dean backed up until he was leaning against a tree, his knees too weak to hold his weight up. His breaths came faster than they should have, and his heart was racing as everything came crashing down on him all at once.

_Oh God Sammy I'm so sorry oh god what was I thinking I'm sorry Sammy I can't believe I hated you Oh God I don't hate you Sammy just come back safe I swear I'll make it up to you oh God Sammy Sammy Sammy Sammy Sammy Sammy_

A twig snapped off to his left, and Dean spun around to scan the area. When he turned back, Mary was gone.

Dean walked through the trees, searching. Searching for his long-lost mother, or his sick little brother, he wasn't sure.

Then in a clump of trees, was a tall shaggy-haired figure appeared in a halo of light. His little brother. Sammy.

Dean marched forward and, chick-flicks be damned, he pulled his brother into his arms and hugged Sam as close to himself as physically possible. Because Sammy was alive, and Dean was never agin going to leave his brother alone, in any sense of the word.

* * *

A certain grumpy soul, going by the name of Bobby Singer, was shooting his way to heaven when he met _her_ on the way. Her sunny curls were vibrant, as was the smile on her face as she looked down on the two boys in that forest.

Bobby looked down, and he smiled too. "You think they're going to be alright, Mary?"

Mary Winchester nodded. " I _know_ they will be. They've got each other."

* * *

**A/N Reviews are exceedingly helpful in motivating me to write more stories, so, if you want more, leave a review to speed up the process. :) **_~Sammy_


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